What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

The other night, Midori and I were re-watching Lie to Me, and when we got to Season 2, Episode 1, "The Core of It", we both just sat there, jaws dropped. This one scene hit so differently watching it as adults compared to when we first saw it as teenagers.

In this episode, Ria Torres is debriefing a case she felt completely underqualified for—a high-stakes situation where she believed she had royally underdelivered. Frustrated and full of doubt, she asks Dr. Cal Lightman why he assigned her to the case, knowing she wasn’t ready.

Lightman, ever calm, responds that she actually nailed it. But that’s not the end of the conversation. He follows up with a question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Torres, clearly baffled, shoots back: “I am grown up.”

Lightman presses: “Terrific. So what are you?”

When Torres has no answer, Lightman delivers the knockout blow: “You’re on your way to becoming one of the world’s leading experts on deception. But up here”—he taps his head—“you’re still a baggage screener at the airport.”

He continues, “Till you change that, you will always think you’re not ready.”

It’s a powerful moment. Lightman sees Torres’s potential more clearly than she does herself. But until she changes her inner narrative, her subconscious will keep her tethered to her old identity, sabotaging her confidence and growth.

How many of us can relate?

For those of us with big ambitions, that inner voice of imposter syndrome often whispers the same doubts. Who are you kidding? You don’t know what you’re doing. It creeps in just when we’re on the brink of something meaningful, making us question whether we’re ready, whether we’re good enough.

But Lightman’s words offer a critical insight: until we change how we see ourselves, we’ll never feel ready. Our subconscious will always find ways to undermine our progress.

Here’s the thing: readiness isn’t about perfection—it’s about embracing growth. The moment we accept that we’re on our way to becoming what we aspire to be, we shift the narrative. Challenges stop being evidence of our inadequacy and start becoming the necessary steps in our journey.

Tony Robbins, one of my favorite strategists, captures this mindset perfectly:

Every problem is a gift—without problems, we would not grow.

Relatedly, he says:

The secret to an extraordinary life is to demand more from yourself than anyone else could possibly expect.

Here’s the key: self-awareness is the antidote to imposter syndrome. It’s not about silencing that inner voice but reframing it. Each challenge we face is exactly what we need to grow. Problems don’t define our limitations; they define our readiness to evolve.

Imposter syndrome loses its power when we acknowledge that growth is a process. You don’t have to be perfect today. You just have to be on your way.

So, the next time you’re confronted with that whispered doubt, ask yourself: What do I want to be when I grow up? And then answer, with confidence: I’m already becoming it.

PS - Here's the full scene from that Lie To Me episode, starting at 37:33, if you're interested!