The whole book is a elegant parable for demonstrating how the people you surround yourself with shape who you are. After reading the book (which is organized into ‘5 rules’ of success), I couldn’t agree more. This quick read makes me reflect on how the people around me are shaping who I’m becoming and what I ought to do about that.
With all of us walking around with grand visions for our lives, it’s a useful exercise for anyone committed to compound our efforts through meaningful connection with others.
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“ I’d like you to write down — in no particular order — the people you spend the most time with . Come up with ten if you can . Just jot down their first names in the column on the left . ”
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“ Now , for each name on the list , I’d like you to write down how much they earn in a year . ”
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*The successful people of the world do make decisions and consciously shape their futures . What we don’t realize is that subconsciously , there are powerful forces at work that affect how we think and act . ”
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“ They’re a type of influence . In fact , the most powerful form of the Influence Effect comes from the people around you . ” “ Like peer pressure ? ” “ Peer pressure is an overt form of the Influence Effect , ”
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“ The more people in your network who have a phone , the more valuable the connection is . In telecommunication technology , there’s a law for that . It’s called Metcalfe’s Law . It says that the effect of the network grows in proportion to the square of the number of connected users . ” “ Wait … what ? ” Vikram chuckled . “ That’s a fancy way of saying that effect of the network doesn’t just go up in a straight line . It gets proportionally more valuable . In our tribe , we have a similar rule . It’s called the Multiplier Effect . It says that whatever you do alone , you can do far better in a group . ”
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** What I’m telling you is that those people don’t just add to your efforts . They multiply them . The right group compounds . The wrong one , however , just confounds . It gets in the way . ”
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“ Clarity , creativity , connectivity , ” he summarized . “ Those are the elements that multiply what you can do alone . You simply cannot get the same results on your own in those areas . ”
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** the Tribe , we call it the Accountability Effect . It says that accountability is the world’s most powerful force . While most of us are able to meet our basic responsibilities , few of us are held accountable to the things that matter most . ”
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“ Change is hard at first . But once you take action , it gets a little easier all the time .
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Accountability is wired into us by evolution — we just have to learn to activate it .
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“ What he might not have told you is that accountability doesn’t have to be intimidating . It’s a powerful force , but it’s not about power . ”
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** “ if you don’t fully disclose , it becomes tempting to only reveal the good stuff to the world . Like social media — you become that person who only shares their best selfie , or the great hair day , or the vacation photos . Underneath all that you could really be struggling , but no one knows , because you’re not sharing the whole picture . And that means no one can help . ”
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still don’t know if I know who I am , ” I said at last . “ That’s not the point , ” Davis said . “ The point is that the only way to find out is through people you trust . Until you trust others , deeply , and without prejudice , you’ll never be yourself . You’ll never know yourself . You’ll never find yourself . Trust is at the core of authenticity . ”
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*** “ everyone’s why is unique and personal . The challenge with why is that it’s easily consumed by how . We get caught up in the day – to – day . It’s easy to lose sight of your purpose or to have it hijacked by things like money , or power , or beauty . Those things don’t endure , yet they have a way of leading us away from purpose . ”
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Mason used the rock to scratch some characters on the stone ledge , where they stood stark white against the dark rock : B = f ( P , E ) I stared at the letters . “ That’s Greek to me . ” Mason tilted his head , examining the writing . “ It’s not as complicated as it looks . What it says is that someone’s behavior , ” he motioned to each letter in turn as he spoke , “ is a function of the person in their environment . ”
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*** Mason stared ahead . “ We have a tendency to ask ourselves , what’s missing in my life ? ” he said . “ And the answer often leads us to things like wealth , or status , or possessions . “ In reality , ” he took another sip , “ we should be asking not what is missing , but who . ” He turned to look at me . “ That one question can change everything . ”
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*** THE CONNECTION EFFECT Your life will be measured by the quality of your relationships A life dedicated to connection is a life free from regret . You are here to live in service to others . Connection is the greatest purpose of all .